Having Xabi Alonso stick a pistol into his ribs was the last thing that Wayne Rooney expected on his holiday to Spain.
Wayne had landed on the Spanish coast with his girlfriend Colleen. Lately she'd been having difficulty getting into Woman's magazines due to Amy Winehouse hogging the headlines. Colleen booked the holiday and arranged for some photographers to meet them on the beach where she was to bend over while wearing a new yellow bikini.
Wayne had been at his mate's Grannies birthday the night before and was feeling a little worse for wear after a few too many cidars. After getting in a taxi to go to their resort Wayne noticed a greasy looking Paella stand.
"Excusio Taxos Drivos, grazie pullus overos. Me very Hungros" he asked the cab driver.
Wayne bought the Paella and instantly knew something was wrong. Without hesitating he ran down an alley way to relive himself of last night’s drinks and his recently acquired lunch.
Out of nowhere came Xabi Alonso who had spotted his run down the alley. Without any consideration Alonso stopped him in his tracks with the cold hard steel of a gun barrel in his ribs.
Alonso barked his order “Givos me your watchos, and your cameros. Nowos!”
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